Come See Me at my New Blog!

For anyone who's stopping by to check in with me, I have a new blog over at Wordpress. It's amysdailystruggle.wordpress.com. Hope to see you there!!

This May be It....

So obviously I haven't posted in a while. A lot has been happening here and blogging fell by the wayside, needless to say. This may be my last post--for the time being, anyway. I have to focus on my family and what's going on here at home. Nothing desperately major, mind you. My husband is leaving his job after 17 years and we're considering our options; thankfully, we have several available to us. We're fortunate my husband is successful in his line of work and many people are now knocking on his door. It's reassuring in an otherwise unsettling time. We're going to be fine, when so many other people I know right now don't have the options we have and are really struggling. I've been quite distressed these past few weeks--change and I don't get along that well. I've had hardly any time or energy to devote to writing, much less my blog. It just takes too much effort. I look at my friends who are dedicated and successful at blogging. I wish I could be more like them, but I'm a mother first, a wife second, a writer third and a blogger.....67th. Everything else takes precedence at the moment.
So thank you to everyone who has stopped by over time. I appreciate you taking moments out of your busy schedules to check in with me. I will continue to do the same for you. Blog trolling is a lot easier and less time consuming. It provides a nice break when I've hit the proverbial writing wall.

My husband hasn't had much time to work on our office, but here's how it looks so far:

He did the tile "hearth" there in front of the fireplace. Thank you, Lord, for the side projects in our lives, the ones that keep our minds off the B.S. and focused on the important things.
God Bless you all!!

We Lost Some Good Ones This Past Week

Dick Francis, Alexander McQueen and now Doug Fieger, lead singer of The Knack. Boy, it makes me feel old when folks my age or of my generation pass on (I'm referring to Mr.'s McQueen and Fieger. Mr. Francis was a bit ahead of my time).

How many times did I spin my little 45 of this song when I was 12???? About a million! I loved "My Sharona" and it makes me happy every time I hear it.



RIP, Doug Fieger, and thanks for some fun music!!

Yabba-Dabba-Doh!

The culprit:

The scene of the crime:

The victim: 











Diagnosis: Broken right thumb

Level of Frustration because I did this to myself:  Extremely High!!!

The pictures tell the story, right? Divot asked to go outside, the door got stuck on snow and ice that had accumulated in the track, so I hoisted it shut with all of my weight and my finger got in the way. Then...I couldn't re-open the door to release my finger. That was a fun two seconds. I watched my nail turn purplish-black, and felt my knees wobble from the pain. Spent the better part of the afternoon in the urgent care center, but left with some pain killers--thank God! And if anyone out there ever has to have blood drained from a fingernail, fret not. It sounds horrible, but within seconds you're relieved of pain. I was a little grossed-out at first, (nail issues aren't my thang) but what a fabulous feeling when that pressure is removed! I almost didn't go to the urgent care center, thought I should buck up and just deal with the pain; even swore all the way into the X-ray room, "There's no way my thumb is broken!" Well, at least I gave the doctors and nurses a good laugh. I know I'm a nurse, but my ability to self-diagnose has never been good. Just ask my mom and husband about the time I denied being in labor.
Still working on my short, although the phrase "churning out pages" no longer applies now that I have a thumb the likes of Fred Flintstone.

Today I Feel....Grateful!!!

These characters are supposed to represent gratitude. I hope they do, because what do I know about Chinese characters? I always feel grateful for the "normal" things like my health, home, etc., but today I feel gratitude for the following, specific things:

1. My current short story. I've rewritten it 7 times now, but have worked out a lot of nonsense and feel happy to be so motivated and excited about a story.

2. My writer's group. Because they've helped me greatly with the above-mentioned story and at this past Monday night's meeting helped me brainstorm some juicy ideas/details that I believe will enhance and propel the story forward. Thanks Dan and Diane!

3. My parents visiting. They arrived yesterday after battling a horrible snowstorm in NJ. I'm grateful they're here and grateful for their safe journey.

4. My girls' fabulous report cards. I'm happy they love school and are doing well. Go girlies!!

and 5. For my wonderful/erudite/friends who have great taste in literature and who've recommended Juliet, Naked (Nick Hornby) Olive Kitteridge (Elizabeth Strout) and what I'm reading now, The Help (Kathryn Stockett). I've loved these books and have loved spending time with them. I bought The Help on Monday and am finishing it up tonight. What a page turner! Funny and poignant, I highly recommend this one.

If any of you have any other suggestions, I'd love to hear 'em!

Yes, I'm Still Here and....Happy New Year, Everyone!!

Sorry I haven't visited my own blog lately. The holidays were crazy, and then I got back into writing, so other things--like blogging--fell by the wayside. I'm busy working on a short story. I've felt quite motivated to work on this story and needless to say, I hope it gets picked up. This is the feeling I love about writing--when I'm inspired and motivated, even though what I've put out is rough. I've already rewritten this story six times and it's still not quite right. I'm getting there, though.
We've had a TON of snow here in northest Ohio. It's finally beginning to melt, but we think we got nearly 3 feet overall.
A couple of people have asked for an update on the office project, so here are some pictures. My husband got a lot accomplished this past weekend. We had lights installed in the niche above the fireplace. I hope to put a piece of artwork in that spot. I was concerned that the fireplace would make the room too warm, but that hasn't been the case--at least not in the past few weeks with all of this cold and snow. It's quite the luxury to flip it on, get the room warm and turn it off. Here's a shot of the snow outside our back door. We even got more snow than what is shown here. Oy.

I've also been wrestling with the notion of perfectionism. I've never considered myself a perfectionist. I'm always quick to point out how many perfectionists I have in my life and I seem to surround myself with them. But recently I've come to accept my own perfectionism--in general every day life, in my attempts to lose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle and in my writing. It came out in this story I'm currently working on and I've had to sit back and consider how I, too, am (sort of) a perfectionist. I guess I'm not ready to fully embrace the label, but I'm....working on it.

Happy Holidays, Everyone!

This video made me smile so I thought I'd share it with you here. It (sort of) has something for everyone. I hope everyone's holidays are happy and healthy!!

We Haven't Heard Enough About Tiger Woods lately, so Here's My Two Cents'

I'm getting old. Or maybe I just don't like the way the world's changing. Or maybe I'm just sick and tired. It's probably d.) all of the above. I haven't blogged in a while for a number of reasons, most of which have been health-related, but also because I just haven't had much to say, and because I've been trying to drown out the white noise of life and concentrate on actual writing (stop snickering Dan and Diane...I'll have something new off to you soon). But the recent news of Tiger Woods and his "transgressions" have spurred my fingers into action.
I just wrote three paragraphs and deleted everything. Writing is rewriting.
You know what this debacle comes down to for me? Women respecting other women. We need to take of each other, ladies. We need to consider how our actions will affect the other woman/women invovled. I believe many attached men (not all, but many, and none who read my blog) will have sex with another woman should the opportunity present itself, and it's up to us women to not hurt other women. Before a woman gets together with a man who's attached to someone else she needs to stop and think: this may hurt another woman, a sister of mine. I watched one of Tiger's "girlfriends" on TV. She said he pursued her. So what? That makes it ok? That makes it right? That absolves her from any wrongdoing? Then I saw a sound byte from the "porn star": "Yeah, I saw a picture of his wife. I do look like her. I guess he likes blondes." Oy vey.
My parents told me something when I was growing up and beginning to date. It's good advice, and has stuck with me through the years. It is something I plan to say to my own daughters and it's this: the female sets the standard. I still believe this. If I say it's ok for a boy to do certain things when I'm in the back seat of his car, he'll go as far as he can (come on, guys, you know it's true). Women have the power to say yes or no (in normal circumstances). If all these women had said no to Tiger he wouldn't be where he is today. Who knows? Maybe there are some upstanding women out there who did say no to Tiger. I wish they'd come forward and reinforce my belief in humanity.

An Upate from the Office-in-Progress

Some of you may recall that my husband is building bookshelves in our office. He's hard at work on the other side of the room--this time going so far as to install a gas fireplace. He framed it in this weekend and here's what it looks like so far! The funny thing about the fireplace is that it works too well. I'm going to have to switch out those French doors for oven doors. Seriously, I may have to open the windows when I run the fireplace and let in some icy Cleveland winter to offset the heat. The fireplace  might end up just being a show piece. I don't want to admit that to my husband! Needless to say, I haven't been getting much writing done in here. I have to go elsewhere--my bedroom, the kitchen--which I think is a good thing. Changing up my surroundings often helps move my writing along.

I'm also throwing in another picture. This is of a bargain I found on....Craigslist! An 1895 Knabe piano for which I paid a mere $100. It needs work--lots of tuning help and some restoration. But for someone who loves antiques, and whose daughter begged for piano lessons (but is now considering throwing in the towel as she's realized the amount of practice one needs to become "good") this was quite a find. It fits perfectly in our home. See, you can find good deals on Craigslist, and not all of them involove sexual solicitation!

Oh, How I Long for a Yes!

Rejection.
It's been the bane of my existence these past couple of months. I'm sure many of you can say the same thing. We're all in this together, right? I've been submitting this story I believe has some merit, is worth readers' valuable time. But alas, I've no takers. Yet.
Usually rejections get me down. I hate to say that out loud, but I can't help it. I'm working on that chink in my so-called armor. My skin is getting thicker, I swear, and I owe my understanding of the issue to some of the writer's journals to which I subscribe. Fortunately, The Writer arrived in my mailbox a few days ago, and within its pages I discovered two helpful pieces that address this age-old writing impediment.
The first, a short essay from Joseph Sestito, encourages the Buddhist approach to rejection. See it not as a negative, but as something positive. He also suggests I "take one on the chin" for all mankind. I will suffer rejection so others don't have to. Ok. I'm a fairly altruistic individual. I can do that.
I found the second piece of encouragement on p.25 in an article by the late Donald M. Murray, first published in 1992. He discusses the 10 habits of successful writers and his last habit--the habit of completion--struck a chord. "A piece of writing is not finished until it is submitted for publication as many times as is necessary for it to appear in print." I like this. I believe him. At least, I want to. Keep on keepin' on. Don't give up. Don't accept "no."
I also found this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IyJsYZHUrmg on You Tube offered by a writer from PA named Jackie. I appreciate her take on rejection as well.
I'm really trying to change/improve my way of thinking when it comes to rejection. And here's how I see things now: at least I'm being rejected. Seeing those business-size envelopes addressed to me in my own handwriting when I open my mailbox means I'm doing. I'm writing. I'm creating. I'm trying. What's your take?

I just learned about this...has anyone else heard about it??

I found this link/story www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1897924,00.html over on Barbara DeMarco-Barrett's site a few days ago and thought I'd share the link here. I had no idea. Isn't it interesting how quietly the apology was made when the original lambasting was heard 'round the world?? Perhaps Ms. Winfrey mentioned her apology to her show's audience. I wouldn't know because I'm no longer a loyal follower. I used to be, until this ugliness occurred.

I wish she'd made this apology as loudly as she'd made her original objections known. She might have won me back.

Things I Like

In following some other folks in the blogosphere, and because I'd like to have two blog posts in one week instead of two in a month (as recent activity suggests) I am going to post a list of things I like. I appreciate lists such as this one. It offers insight into the inner workings of my mind for anyone who might care. Ok, the only person who's going to care is my mother, who says she's learned so much more about me since I started blogging. Hmm. The rest of you are welcome to read along and post your own list of likes on your blogs. I will come read them, I promise! Also, a caveat: I am not listing anything related to my children and husband, because as their biggest fan I could go on and on and make everyone sick. Here goes:

1. The 2009 National League Champions, the Philadelphia Phillies

2. down-filled comforters

3. email

4. autumn

5. the beach/ocean (Atlantic, especially)

6. ice cream (most any kind, but esp. Haagen Dazs Vanilla Swiss Almond)

7. NYC

8. dogs

9. sharpened pencils (black Ticonderogas)

10. early American antiques

11. '80's music (no hair bands!)

12. yoga

13. golf

14. satellite radio

15. telescopes

16. Fleetwood Mac

17. Stevie Nicks

18. Advair

19. traveling

20. Adirondack chairs

21. Cosmos

22. Smartfood popcorn

23. the Denver Broncos

24. San Francisco

25. French impressionism

26. Red Rocks ampitheatre

27. Mexican food

28. scrapbooking

29. Mad Men

30. the Cleveland Cavs

31. sleeping in

32. thunderstorms

33. fire pits

34. hammocks

35. Harrison Fisher prints (artist from early 1900's)

36. non-pareils

37. Jean Paul Gaultier perfume bottles (and the perfume itself)

38. Ghostbusters

39. Starbucks

40. sound of the garage door going up (means my husband is home! Ok, I let this one slip in)

41. some reality TV (Amazing Race, Project Runway)

42. NY style pizza

43. heated car seats

44. my faith (Episcopalian)

45. reminiscing

Spanking is a Good Thing...

But only when it's the Phillies doing the spanking and the Dodgers, (or whichever opponent is unlucky enough to face them) getting punished! What a fabulous time I had last night watching the Phils trounce the Dodgers (Boo! Hiss!). Please God, let the Phillies show up to play again tonight. Go Phillies!!!!

Haven't posted in a while because I've been caring for sick kids, helping in my daughter's classroom and getting ready for the Scholastic book fair, and getting away for the weekend to Niagara Falls, ON with my family. Here are some pictures from our trip:

We had a great time even though our youngest wasn't feeling 100%.

Our dog, Divot, really missed us while we were gone. Here he is letting us have it for leaving him alone all weekend  welcoming us home--loudly!

The fall colors are gorgeous here in northeast Ohio. It's a great place to be at the moment. Just don't talk to me in two months.  ;o)

Receiving rejections every day on the short I've been sending out all year. Might be time to throw in the towel and move on. Continue to struggle with writing motivation. When I don't get any words down I feel it's a day wasted, and who wants to do that? Wasting time like that feels irresponsible to me. All right. Enough moaning. I'll be here at my desk, writing, for the rest of the afternoon.

What's on Your Bedside Table?

Here's a snapshot of what I'm currently reading. Notice where The Story of Edgar Sawtelle is....way at the bottom. And notice the bookmark--in the middle somewhere. I've been trying to get through this one for the better part of a month. Someone enlighten me here, please! I've already given this book way too much of my valuable time, but a friend me some words of encouragement. "Once you hit the middle, it really takes off." Wow. I have to wait more than 250 pages for the book to take off. You know this irks me because I'm pretty sure the agents I'm querying wouldn't be as patient with me, waiting for MY story to "take off" at page 250. And yes, that is Kathy Griffin's memoir, Official Book Club Selection. I can't help it. I love KG and I'm speeding through this fun read. No waiting around for 200+ pages for her story to take flight. It takes off like a shot, but I'm a fan and I need a light read every now and then. I picked up Time of My Life thanks to another blogger's suggestion. I'm only 20 pages in, but liking it so far. I have to say though, I've already seen this movie twice--once as The Family Man, with Nicholas Cage, and the other, 13 Going on 30, just reversed. I haven't started Home yet, but look forward to reading it as Marilynne Robinson is a wonderful writer. And this isn't unusual, me having three or four books piled high on my nightstand. What about you? Only one book at a time, or several? And what's on your bedside table?

So Long, Summer

Fall is creeping into northeast Ohio. I love fall. It's my favorite season and one that flies by too quickly, I think. Before I know it we'll be hip deep in snow and scraping ice from our windshields. So...I thought I'd share our lovely flower border that we enjoyed all summer. These flowers lined the entire walkway across our house, and caused some people to almost have accidents, so mesmerized were they by the sea of pink and white. (People told me this--I didn't actually see any near fender-benders, or hear any screeching brakes).

Also, for anyone who's interested, my handy husband is hard at work on the other side of my office. He's framed in the fireplace and the guy came last week to run the gas line. Here's what it looks like so far. I'm eager for him to complete the work, but I'm a little concerned about how warm the room will be once I turn on the fireplace. I may have to open a window in the dead of winter--and remember, I live just outside of Cleveland!

As for writing, I'm busy sending out a short story that, thanks to my writer's group, is getting a second chance. Seems I didn't have enough faith and give it a real shot during the first round of submissions. It's going everywhere. I hope it finds a home!!
Also went to see Julie & Julia--with my husband, this time--and really enjoyed the movie. The first time I tried to see it I was too stressed out, worrying about what was coming around the bend to assault my daughters' eyes and ears. The movie is definitely light fare, but what cracked us up was when Julie receives 65 phone messages--all from agents and publishers--wanting to talk to her about her blog and possible book deal. I found it funny that my husband laughed so hard at that one. I turned to him and said, "Yeah...we're livin' that dream aren't we, honey?"

Just a Couple of Suggestions

A short post today, but want to share two things--one a book, the other a blog--I now count as a few of my favorite things in life.
First, the book. I just finished reading Elizabeth Strout's Pulitzer Prize winning book, Olive Kitteridge. Loved it. Olive is the main character of the novel but sometimes only appears as someone passing through a room in this set of linked stories. I also appreciate the format--a whole book of linked stories about the people in Crosby, Maine. I highly recommend this read and we writers can definitely learn from Ms. Strout's storytelling ability. Her book, Amy and Isabelle, is another favorite of mine from a few years back.
Second, the blog. I just happened upon this one that focuses on rejection--sharing of rejection letters, etc.--handled with (what I think is) a great sense of humor. Laughing along with other writers as we experience opening the dreaded SASE we mailed out with our ms just makes me feel better. Go check it out at: http://www.literaryrejectionsondisplay.blogspot.com/ and have a great Labor Day!!

I Admit it, I Screwed Up

Sorry I haven't been around much these past few weeks. We've been busy gearing up for school. So now that my girlies are back in the classroom, I should have more time to devote to blogging--to my own as well as trolling others' blogs. I'm also excited to have more time to write. I'm working on another short story, as well as preparing to rewrite my novel (4th go-round) and possibly rework its beginning. Now on to "real life" stuff.
No one out in the blogosphere really knows me, so I have to tell you up front: I'm usually one of the strictest, most likely to say "no" moms around. So why I decided to take both of my daughters (ages 11 and 8) to see Julie & Julia last night is beyond me. Brain cramp? Invasion of the body snatchers?? Temporary loss of consciousness??? I read the reviews prior to going, and the movie web site I checked said the PG-13 rating was due to, "One F-word, some strong and brief crude language, sexual references and non-explicit situations." In the past, before we've allowed them to see a PG-13 movie, (there have been 2 others) they get the "big speech" which goes something like this: "Remember, we don't use this language at home, the filmmakers use these words for emphasis, this isn't the real world..." you get the idea.
When we first sat down, I looked around and noticed my girls were the only two kids in the entire place. That was the first knot I felt form in my stomach. Then the movie started and the older couple sitting behind us said, (loudly) "Kids should not be here." Second knot. I felt okay for the first 45 minutes. There were moments the couples in the movie were shown kissing in bed (I shielded my 8-year old's eyes) and some language that made me cringe, but I know much of this went over their heads. But at the one-hour mark I couldn't take it anymore. Nothing in the movie was too over the top or gratuitous. It just didn't feel right sitting there with my two young girls. I could hardly enjoy the movie I was so caught up in my own angst. And who really knows what's sinking in and what isn't? I think things fly over their heads, but how can I be sure? I don't know what I was thinking. that the movie would focus mostly on the cooking?? Anyway...we left. I hope the older couple who sat behind us approved of that decision. ;o) Now, if I could just find that nomination form...the one for Mother of the Year...
On a happier note...to counteract that poor decision, I was rewarded this past week with my daughter announcing her decision to abandon the Twilight series. I posted a few months ago about finally allowing her to read Twilight (all of her friends had read the entire series at the beginning of 5th grade--a point in time I'd said, emphatically, NO! to my daughter's request to read it). She just finished the third book in the series, Eclipse, and came to me and said she'd had enough--enough of the teen romance/girl giving up her life for the guy nonsense. She likes the fantasy/vampire thing but was turned off by the romance between Edward and Bella. She'd heard from friends that the characters consummate their relationship in Book 4 and she said, "I'm afraid to read that. I think I'm done." She handed me Breaking Dawn and told me to "put it away somewhere." Thank you, God!! I think a lot of the themes in the books are too heavy for many of these young girls. I'm glad "dawn broke" for my daughter. Thankfully good sense prevailed and my daughter realized her limitations.
I guess I haven't totally screwed up...yet.

Back to Reality...

These pictures are from our vacation. We spent last week with my family on an island off the coast of South Carolina. The top picture is an approaching storm. Even though we had some rain we still had a great time. My husband and I lamented leaving our small paradise. We're trying to conjure up ways of affording a home on this island. I said I'd have to sell some books and even have them made into movies to reach this goal. Is that so much to ask??

So now it's back to reality....getting the girls ready to head back to school...diving into the fourth rewrite of my book. I bet many of you are doing the same, right? (Please say yes, please say yes!)

Anyone want to guess the name of this island?? Sorry family and friends, you're excluded from this one. ;o)

Open Up...

I've struggled with ideas for my blog lately when it dawned on me to write something about new blood, fresh eyes and being open to new people. After all, the idea was right in front of my face. I was in the middle of reading a story by someone new to my writer's group.
My writing group is a tight-knit group of three. We began as a large and loose group that met monthly at our local library. Then four of us split off and met biweekly for a year until one woman moved away and left the three of us: another woman, one brave man and I.
It occurred to us a few months ago that we might need some new blood in the group. We'd all read and worked on each others' WIP's, and while we felt we'd made headway on these projects, we believed fresh eyes and opinions could be helpful. Change is good, right? I believe it is even though I find it challenging and frightening at times. Two people approached the other woman in the group and expressed interest in joining us. I knew we needed more members, but still felt squeamish at allowing them in--and one, a woman--has some pretty impressive credentials. Who was I to balk at her joining??
I couldn't help it. I expressed my reluctance to my group who, (I believe) understood my angst. I still hate sharing my work with others--an issue with which I continually wrestle.
Well...long story short...I'm glad these folks have joined us, and I've grown more comfortable with the idea of change and being open to others in general. It's always good to have fresh eyes read your work. This new woman discovered a split infinitive at the very beginning of my novel that we've read countless times. How did we miss that glaring offense??
So now I'm wondering...how many of you out there have had similar experiences? Do you welcome or rebel against change? And your take on writing groups? We either love 'em or hate 'em. Mine has become invaluable to my writing process. People are drawn together in this world for a reason. We're here to learn from one another. I feel that way about my family and friends, and definitely my writer's group. Even the newer members, from whom I've already learned. I'm glad I put my petty issues aside and opened myself up to the possibility of new relationships and new experiences. Hopefully, my writing will be better for it.
Oh, and before I sign off, Happy Birthday to my baby who turned 11 at exactly 2:53 p.m. this afternoon. While I'm thankful she's happy and healthy, I'm crying with each growth spurt and development toward adulthood. Sob, sob, boo, hoo. Don't all you mothers feel sorry for me?? ;o)

Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head

The song by B.J. Thomas was one of my favorites as a child. I even had a music box that played the tune. It's what ran through my head when I first saw this amazing video. Many of you have probably seen it, but for those who haven't it's worth a look and listen. Thanks, Mom, for sending it our way. I wish I was as creative as the person who conceptualized this idea. I have no idea who this group is, or where they come from, but I love this creation. Enjoy!