Thursday, December 10, 2009

We Haven't Heard Enough About Tiger Woods lately, so Here's My Two Cents'

I'm getting old. Or maybe I just don't like the way the world's changing. Or maybe I'm just sick and tired. It's probably d.) all of the above. I haven't blogged in a while for a number of reasons, most of which have been health-related, but also because I just haven't had much to say, and because I've been trying to drown out the white noise of life and concentrate on actual writing (stop snickering Dan and Diane...I'll have something new off to you soon). But the recent news of Tiger Woods and his "transgressions" have spurred my fingers into action.
I just wrote three paragraphs and deleted everything. Writing is rewriting.
You know what this debacle comes down to for me? Women respecting other women. We need to take of each other, ladies. We need to consider how our actions will affect the other woman/women invovled. I believe many attached men (not all, but many, and none who read my blog) will have sex with another woman should the opportunity present itself, and it's up to us women to not hurt other women. Before a woman gets together with a man who's attached to someone else she needs to stop and think: this may hurt another woman, a sister of mine. I watched one of Tiger's "girlfriends" on TV. She said he pursued her. So what? That makes it ok? That makes it right? That absolves her from any wrongdoing? Then I saw a sound byte from the "porn star": "Yeah, I saw a picture of his wife. I do look like her. I guess he likes blondes." Oy vey.
My parents told me something when I was growing up and beginning to date. It's good advice, and has stuck with me through the years. It is something I plan to say to my own daughters and it's this: the female sets the standard. I still believe this. If I say it's ok for a boy to do certain things when I'm in the back seat of his car, he'll go as far as he can (come on, guys, you know it's true). Women have the power to say yes or no (in normal circumstances). If all these women had said no to Tiger he wouldn't be where he is today. Who knows? Maybe there are some upstanding women out there who did say no to Tiger. I wish they'd come forward and reinforce my belief in humanity.


Janna Qualman said...

Absolutely true. You've said this brilliantly, Amy, and I think you for getting to the root of it. I appreciate your thinkings, sister.
And best with your writing!

Anita said...

My parents taught me that if you cheat (doesn't matter what side of the equation you're on), then you'll burn in Hell eternally. And that pretty much kept me straight.

Paul Michael Murphy said...

And she has to leave his ass. I lost all respect for Hillary Clinton when she "stood by her man."

Amy said...

Thanks, Janna!

Anita, avoiding Hell's eternal flame would motivate me to stay on the straight-and-narrow. I'm guessing you've never cheated on anything.

I hear you, Paul. I lost some respect for HRC, too, after that whole mess. But...if Elin stays she could make things harder on Tiger in the long run. That might be better justice. I couldn't do it, though. One would be hard enough, but 10? And a porn star to boot??

Diane Vogel Ferri said...

I never heard anyone say it this way before my husband said the same thing. Women have the power - we can say yes or no - the man is mostly always going to say yes. And I agree - when you're with a married person you're hurting the whole family.

Kathryn Magendie said...

I found it ironic that one of the mistresses was crying and upset that he cheated on was rather sad and strange...and the irony wasn't lost on her, I don't believe.

I bet Tiger was told no by some women . . . I'd have said no - but then again, I don't think he'd want a 52 year old brunnette *snirk*

One thing though - I don't want to give the guys a "pass" on this - they know better - they know when they're doing wrong or cheating or hurting their loved ones - each time we give them a "pass" it perpetuates the "boys will be boys" attitude ...but what you say makes a lot of sense in many ways, yes...