Tuesday, January 27, 2009

My Day Came Today--at the Hair Salon

When am I going to learn to keep my mouth shut? Especially when I'm around a younger, hipper crowd? Maybe it has something to do with my impending forty-second birthday, or maybe I'm just not that good at comedic reference. But you would think I would have learned this lesson by now.
I went to get my hair done today. As I was checking out, three twenty-somethings stood behind the counter and one of them complimented my newly cut and colored coif.
"Thanks." I smiled and tossed my hair back and forth. After all, having my hair done does make me feel like a new woman. "It's bouncin' and behavin'."
The three women suddenly seemed much younger than my original estimation. Perhaps they were in their late teens? They stared at me quizzically. One of them even had the nerve to go slack jawed.
"You don't remember Agree shampoo? It smelled like different kinds of fruit--you know, strawberries, sour apples? And the commercials always had this blond tossing her hair around. She'd say, "I love Agree shampoo. It makes my hair bouncin' and behavin'!"
The three girls exchanged glances and smiled awkwardly. Maybe they weren't even in their late teens. Maybe they'd just purchased their first training bras.
But do you think their embarrassed looks stopped me? No way, Jose! Onward and downward I fell into the death spiral of middle-aged patheticness.
"I guess you don't remember Love's Baby Soft, either?" Then I did the unthinkable: I started singing the commercial's song--you know, to jar their memories. "You can try hard, or you can try soft. Love's will get 'em every ti-i-ime..."
The girls shook their heads. "Love's Baby Soft?"
I took another stab. "Underoos?"
"I'm a Pepper, he's a Pepper?" Beads of sweat began to dot my forehead. "Wouldn't you like to be a Pepper, too? With the guy from An American Werewolf in London swinging on the lamppost like Gene Kelly in--"
That's when I felt the bony finger of reality tap me on the shoulder. I turned and saw Father Time shaking his head in dismay. Stop while you're (sort of) ahead, he seemed to say. If this trio wasn't around for such pop culture phenoms like the ones I'd rattled off they sure as heck weren't going to recognize Gene Kelly and Singin' in the Rain.
They smiled sheepishly once more and one of the shrugged her shoulders. "Sorry, Mrs. Lost in the Way-Back Machine."
I waved my hand and smiled--laughed at myself, really. I guess it's good I provided some laughter for them, too. "That's okay, girls." And as I exited the salon I said under my breath, "Your day will come."
So how many others out there are like me? What commercials/products do you remember from way back when?


Anita said...

Honey Comb's big, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not small, no, no, no.

Diane Vogel Ferri said...

Thanks for a good LOL today! You articulated the dilemma perfectly!

Angie Ledbetter said...

"I can bring home the bacon...and fry it up in a pan..." :) Nice blog!

Anonymous said...

How about "call that kid a Cracker Jack"?

Anonymous said...

"He likes it?! Hey Mikey!"
-Life cereal
I, personally, find some sort of twisted satisfaction in making those young folk (I'm 37 going on 17 again) think I'm a dork. In a way, I guess it may smooth their transition into adulthood...when they start referring to things that those 20 years younger have not the faintest what their talking about! Thank you for sharing. Good times!

Amy said...

Hear you on the satisfaction factor!! It's fun on slow days!